Helicopter Mummy kept her children on track.

Helicopter Mummy kept her children on track. Surely three minutes on the swingset would be enough for 8-yr-old Jeff to register that memory. His future in Tana-leave cultivation de

demanded that he experience at least some time on the playground. Jeff, on the other hand, didn't much care for swing sets or slides. He just simply wanted to

run around recklessly, ramming his head into solid objects. His favorite was the grille of Principal Angry Elk's Cadillac. Despite his name, the schoolmaster was a patient and

everyone knew the story. It was no secret that the schoolmaster spent six months at a nearby sanitarium after an embarrassing episode that left him with a pair of horns attached to

caused even the cockroaches to gyrate their thoraxes in rhythm with it's intoxicating beat, causing the drive-in chef to spray the burgers down with Raid. Brenda the car-hop sang

along, oblivious to the now-poisoned burgers. The customers' heads bobbed along as they ate their Raid-soaked meals. A greedy doctor nearby suddenly smiled, but he didn't know why.

Nor did the greedy doctor. Unlike the doctor, though, he could do something about it and chose not to. When the Raid-soaked meals turned out to be too mindblowing for Prime TIme he

returned to his origins, back to the mockingbirds, woodpeckers, spiders, and snakes, making sure to propagate the disease everywhere. He was sure life would soon be back to normal.

And that my friend is how I met a koala, with whom I enjoyed some koala tea time (it was eucalyptus flavored!) (the tea not the koala) (well actually both) (I didn't eat the koala)