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The Thompson Twins entered the strange telephone

  • The Thompson Twins entered the strange telephone booth. As soon as they closed the door sparks and tubes spun around. When they exited it was 2012 and they were

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  • caught in the flabby folds of Pamela Anderson's love handles. The Thompson Twins struggled to free themselves and exit the time machine, but suddenly they were awestruck by the

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  • wonder of the flying hovercraft and the skyscrapers practically kissing the stars outside the glass walls of the time machine. The Thompson Twins decided to stay in the future and

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  • revitalize their one-hit wonder "Hold-Me-Now." In 3020, music had been reduced to a droning wavelegth sent to the reptilian brain. The Thompson Twins took the world by storm.

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  • They came up with the most delightfully uninteresting droning screeches. The reptilian masses could often be heard imitating them while doing the only legal dance on their planet,

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  • The foxtrot is isn't know for arousing passion or even desire. It's a slow elegant glide around a polished dancefloor and ideal for cold-blooded creatures on any planet you like.

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  • Which is why, as I stared into the eyes of the most bizarre creature I'd ever seen. I pulled out my iPod, turned on Sinatra's "You Make Me Feel So Young" and reached out my arms to

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  • give the creature a big hug. Turns out the Beast didn't like that and it turned to me

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  • It was ready to rip through me like I was fresh butter and he was the sharpest knife.

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  • Before it went any further though, I said it was knife to meet him, but I really had to be going home. "Butter luck next time," he said smoothly and gave me a pat on the back.

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