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"IS THE skin between your fingers SAGGING?

  • "IS THE skin between your fingers SAGGING? Do people MURMER about your INNIE-CREASES? We at SKINNY-Ds Plastic Emporium have a one-stop surgical solution.

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  • At SKINNY-Ds Plastic Emporium, we have your comfort at heart. Tired of waking up after a surgery missing some of your limbs? No problem! Your safety here is guaranteed. That is why

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  • we will never wake you up after your surgery. Once you are out, you will stay asleep. We will do whatever we want to your body while your mind wanders in its own darkness.

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  • For example, we might draw obscene figures on your face in permanent marker, stick a trumpet in your crack, and post images of the scene on Tumblr. This, you freshman maggot, is

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  • How you get initiated into the group of maggots you chose when you applied for admission long ago. We chose you because you are a good maggot. Consider yourself lucky! You made it.

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  • Here's what to expect next. Assuming you've buried yourself in rotting flesh somewhere adjacent to the rest of us, you will, within a matter of days, begin to

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  • regret your decision and climb out of the decay and go get yourself a decent job making full head rubber masks of Barbra Streisand at Schlomo's Custom Costumes. You'll be able to

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  • write your own ticket and before you know it you will be the King of Bab's Head. Soon after you will be stocking Giant Hand Of Allahs as well. But the life of a novelty king is not

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  • is not all glitz and glamour. There are those periods of acute anxiety, when nobody buys any of your Donald Trump Trolls, and you can’t even give the things away. You should have

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  • not ordered four thousand of them. Do you think he will have another term as president? I sure hope so... god when my wife finds out, she's gonna divorce me.

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