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The cocoa goddess' day was ruined. First

  • The cocoa goddess' day was ruined. First the smores became all runny. Next, the white chocolate was more of a beige. Finally, all the marshmallows were fruity-flavored.

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  • Dont get me started on the expired milk - what kind of recipe is this? She tried to fool the elves by saying it was supposed to taste like that. They started to riot in protest. H

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  • o ho ho. Santa entered the room. "I know my milk." He took a taste and smiled. "Silly elves this isn't expired milk. A reindeer must be nursing, because this is breast milk."

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  • WHAT????? Reindeer breast milk is what Santa was really thinking which lead to him beginning to plot how he was immediately going to get back at the elves who thought this trick

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  • or treating was acceptable at the North Pole. Christmas is just 2 months away! Forget Halloween! So Santa milked one of his pregnant reindeer and poured it in the elves punch. The

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  • elves drank it down faster than you can whistle Dixie. Santa was pleased but suddenly noticed the sky light at his workshop had smashed open and a foul smell was coming from

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  • the Reindeer Barn.Damn! Blitzen died and no one had noticed for a few days.Vixen was inconsolable and the inebriated elves were no help at all. Global Warming ruined the North Pole

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  • because it became a vacation spot for Eskimo tourists. Before the Claus's could count on privacy. But now there was a Starbucks and Chili's burgers on every single

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  • iceberg with a landing strip for the sled. Santa's tech division developed the stealth sled with retro rocket afterburners for steep decents. The Eskimo tourists thought the aurora

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  • smelled a bit like octane. Santa let the sled rip, but the presents wouldn't deploy. He hopped on one big box and it fell from the sleigh. He waved his hat, yelling, "Ho ho ho!"

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2 Comments

  1. Zetawilk Dec 24 2012 @ 01:14

    Excellent. Happy Hearth's Warming Day, everybody.

  2. SlimWhitman Dec 24 2012 @ 20:22

    Got this one in just below the radar. Warm hearths and hearts to all.

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