I met a girl who had some extraordinary pets.

I met a girl who had some extraordinary pets. Her blue dragon, purple frog and pack of rainbow coloured alpacas were among the few that lived in the front room. Her favourite pet,

was this little silver finger monkey. His name was Carlos, and he liked to eat lightly salted cashews. Sometimes he wore a little hat with a pompom on it. He looked good in

the full page Cosmo article that was written about him. But the Japanese-language version was botched with a headline "Carlos Monkey Nom Noms on Cashews and Wears Protection Hat."

so I had to turn to European sex ideas. It seemed that real life would never be as graphic, erotic, or as dramatic as real life. It was still pretty damn good though.

"Real life will never be as erotic as real life? That don't make sense." I thought to myself while shoving a banana shaped object up my lady hole. Reality makes sense. What doesn't

are the projections others try to make upon our reality. I don't mean science fiction bullshit. I mean sociopolitical bullshit. I squeezed too tight on the banana and it flew

across the crowd barrier and onto the stadium running track. The banana skidded and stopped in the middle of the 100m sprint track as the men were about to start. Bang!

Baaaaaang! What was that? The sprinters,distracted now, looked up and squinted into the crowd.Some lady was belting out Love Shack! "Bang bang bang on the door a little louder baby

! TIN ROOFS ..." But I wasn't able to hear the rest of the song as the "No-Fun" thought police hauled her into the Ministry of Love. I love Big Brother.... No, not the TV show...