Shrieking, the banshee closed in on the Irish

  • Shrieking, the banshee closed in on the Irish pub.

  • The denizens of said pub huddled around the last candle, sipping of their spirits and praying to

  • Cthulhu. The denizens of the pub realized they didn't have to use the last candle and went and bought more, before long they had a proper ritual chamber up and running.

  • They'd obtained a musty Necronomicon from the Ancient Tome Discount Outlet, drawn random sigils on the pub's cellar floor & tapped a keg of ale. When they called up Tsathoggua

  • he was furious at the depths of their gall. "YOU DARE USE ARCANA FROM THE WINTER CATALOG?!" The cosmic hell-beast was right: it was mid-June. Bamboozled again by the ATDO, they

  • humbly scrutinized a 1908 Sears-Roebuck catalog and tried to correlate it with the July 1925 issue of The New Arcanist, until Jazzabel rebelled against their hell-beast boss. "Your

  • demands make my teeth hurt. I resign!" Jazzabel picked up her electric typewriter and staggered towards the door. But her ex-boss reeled her back in by its cable saying, "I don't

  • know a time you ever turned down an assignment," he pleaded, yanking the typewriter out of her hands. "Jazzabel, our reputation will tank if you leave! Don't make me beg."

  • The A,H and # keys sounded a shriek of alarm at the thought of anyone else touching them. The S,J and @ keys had panic attacks at the thought of

  • fingertips pressing on their very core. The X, Y, Z keys put an end to anyone getting away with finger handling them. That only left the T, O, and P keys at the top of the ranking,



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