I awoke on a cold, hard table in a room I

I awoke on a cold, hard table in a room I did not recognise. My head was groggy as I forced myself up and looked around. The first thing I noticed were the

mummies. Dozens of them, in neat rows on all sides of me, propped up like soldiers standing at attention. I pressed lightly on the forehead of the one closest to me and watched as

the evil scientist brought them to life, one by one, with his Magic Tesla Gun. "They all said I was crazy!" he shouted. "I'll show them. I'LL SHOW THEM ALL!" I coughed neviously.

the microphone and stood in the spotlight. "Ladies and gentlemen, a joke to start off the evening. A man with a porcupine under each arm walks into a bar and says

"Sweet Jesus! This was a terrible way to carry porcupines!" He then drops the porcupines on the ground and runs screaming out of the bar. He flails his quill-barbed arms in the air

sometimes, singing ayoo. Then he remembered his reason for traveling back in time: He must kill Sarah Connor.

So he loaded his shotgun and readied his metallic winkie. Without pants he stepped into the spinning portal and prepared to meet what lies beyond.

The last thing he thought before blanking out was, "Maybe it's not such a good idea to run pantsless into

a meat slicer." Then again, this wasn't the first time, nor would be the last. So there he layed, in a pool of his own blood and finely sliced loins. Some people just don't learn