I was eating breakfast when my roommate came

I had. It was moist and delicious. I didn't regret it. I said "The consumer of the ding dong is irrelevant to these proceedings. In point of fact, harboring an Atelerix albiventris

is punishable by having your ding dong eaten by a bear whilst you are fully conscious. Why bears crave ding dong is a mystery. Just then Sherlock Holmes arrived. " I hear you have

managed to get yourself into quite the pickle" he stopped, looking at me expectantly "get it? Pickle? Oh nevermind. Here is what you do my dear boy...

first, you wash up real good. Double sack duty...just in case. Then you eat 6 raw oysters. Again, just in case. When grandpa gave me dating advice it gave me the creeps. What

kind of oysters were he talking about?! Such a perv. and like...she was all..BLEHHHH ME SO PRETTY. double sack duty is a job for my double D titties. But I still need to wash up to

clean up my... Just then the oysters attacked me. I swear! Only moments ago, I was joking and like, just...you know. EWWWWW! SOoooo gross. Yuck! My blouse is all covered with

clumps of gooey, gray oyster gunk. Nasty stuff, and smelly, ugh! The blasted bivalves backed away then, but the damage was done. I charged out of the room to change out my shirt

.That's when I noticed a shadowy figure peeping at me through the window & breathing heavily. PERV! Well 2 can play at that game. I scooped up the oyster gunk & rubbed it over my b

and also my T's and A. That got some attention! The shadowy figure fell off of the step-ladder and into the rose bushes with a loud clatter! By the time I got outside, they'd gone.