David stood there, sweaty and hot. The 90

  • David stood there, sweaty and hot. The 90 degree day was not kind to him, seeing as he was wearing a suit and tie, standing on a street corner, his gaze affixed to his watch. Soon,

  • he thought to himself, Soon. Soon they would pay. Soon, he would be the one laughing. Soon, they would rue the day they made him wear the accursed name, 'David...' Soon.

  • All his life he wanted to be known as "Dave," way cooler than "David." It could be worse, he knew some loser who went by "Chaz." What a nimrod! Chuck was so much better.

  • To test this hypothesis, Dave opened up a Chaz E. Cheese's right next to a Chuck E. Cheese's. Which would the kids prefer? Chaz, as it turns out. Apparently "z"'s are badass and

  • he soon had a nasty summons from the Chuck E Cheese lawyers. It seems they thought "Chaz E Cheese's was infringing on their trademark, so I renamed my chain The Jolly Chazer & sold

  • tips & tricks on sporadic improv in the Greater Twin Cities Area, MN. It was a family-friendly family-run operation, so when a seedy adult bookstore opened next to the Jolly Chazer

  • it was tolerated because the adult bookstore was run by Prince. He'd closed down half of his purple palace and got into a new line of business. Prince was sort of

  • a connoisseur of sex you see, and if anyone was going to tell the state what to do about sex, it was Prince. I mean, look at him. Damn. But I digress. So I was buying porn, right,

  • but not that generic handiman-housewife nonsense. The good stuff. Fantasy sci-fi alien plot-twist ghost porn. I like to think of myself as a connoisseur too ('cept for Prince), so

  • let's make sure we get this last shot right. OK everyone...places...and ACTION." I sighed and then sat back in the Director's chair as the cameras rolled. Ya know, I love my job.



  1. Zetawilk Jan 07 2013 @ 02:05

    And why not some REAL star power? From bonafide actors branching out from other genres? And special effects, darnit. Seriously, every SciFi made for TV movie gets special effects. Why not ABSOLUTELY every other film? And none of this dullard garbage that's already on TV that simple belittles people with denigrating in-group-out-group gibberish. We need more ethically uplifting messages in our debauchery.

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