I've became obsessed with gaining super speed,

I've became obsessed with gaining super speed, so much so that every time it storms, I run to my chemical set, hoping a stray bolt of lightning will strike, just like in the Flash

. Dark clouds gathered. I quickly mixed the chemicals and held onto the Jacob's Ladder. Soon I would have Flash's powers. When the lightning hit, the cat walked in. Dammit, now I'm

Screwed. That cat knows too much. I needed those powers, cat or not. As the stroke hit, I closed my eyes and felt the burn, so did Fluffy, the cat. He was on JacobsLadder, too!

I sent the cat a private message. "Why are you always on the same sites as me? Why can't you go speed dating on eHarmony or something? JacobsLadder.com is MY territory!"

Unfortunately the site was hosted on a Korean server, & that's when trouble began brewing. One fake ad to "date" a cat was placed by a "Kim Jong-Un": "Me so Mistah Whiskas. Me love

sassy molassey!" Of course it was Kim Jong-Un writing the specious ad. He wanted to see if any fool was foolish enough to respond. He had a pit of cobra-hyena hybrids waiting for t

he first respondent. His enthusiasm was waning when, after 18 months of silence, an American replied. "Hi. My name is Dennis Rodman. I would be honored..." Kim Jong-un was over

come with emotion & embraced Dennis Rodman around the knees. "Welcome, my son! It is I who is honored to finally make your acquaintance, to make peace with the world. Kim Jong-un

courted other basketball greats like MJ, Magic, Kareem, & Donald Earl Slick Watts. He quit dictatoring & realized his dream globe trotting as Little Jong-un & the Golden Hoopsters.