After years of genetic engineering & self

After years of genetic engineering & self experimentation, Dr.Kärnefelt developed variously colored beard lichens which grew on the scalp & chin forming a symbiosis with host human

s, allowing the wearer of the lichens to change their head and facial hair styles, color, everything, with merely a thought. What Dr. K didn't know was that the lichen fed off brai

-ds. Dr. K's daughter's french braid was turning green. This lichen leaped onto Princess Leia's

hair bun and started to dig deep into her scalp. "Damnit, 3PO, can you please see what's going on in my hair?" Leia pleaded. As C3PO started to caress her big hair bun, his true fe

-nestrations began to emerge. (Hah, bet you didn't expect THAT word, did ya?) C3P0 began to melt into a puddle of copper, tin and bronze, some of which got in Leia's hair bun, wh

en she wasn't looking. The Nestrations were gonna nuke Luke and Leia was so upset about her hair buns that she didn't even care. "Cut!" Spielberg hollered and asked for

immunity from prosecution. As everyone scratched their heads in wonder, Spielberg barracaded himself in a trailer with a box of grenade props. Everyone on set took a day off.

The cast and crew went to the circus to see the new giraffe. The giraffe had pimples on his eyeballs and pimples on his

lips - but it was an adolescent giraffe, so that was to be expected. Donations of Clearasil were welcomed, and the vat-ful they'd need to bathe him in was nearly three-quarters

arsenic. It would kill the giraffe. Not that that was a bad thing, of course. Giraffes weren't to be trusted, like the rest of the universe. And the authors of this story.