How to take over the world: Step 1: Acquire

How to take over the world: Step 1: Acquire large quantities of quartz, copper, and canned cheese. Step 2: Start a digital greeting card business. Step 3:

Use said supplies of quartz, copper and canned cheese to build a HQ for taking over the world. Step 4: Spread your propaganda with the digital greeting cards and smart leaflets

. Step 5, create your own family-values themed buffet-style restaurants with chocolate fountains.

Step 6, Try and resist the dessert bar. Go ahead. Try. I dare you.

Step 8: Lecture an Italian chef on how to properly cook pasta. Assure the same that you will always "be there" for them, every step of the way. Don't mean what you say.

Disingenuity shock cure Step 9: Tell your wife you really lover her mother's cooking & she should come visit more often. Step 10: Tell your Boss you just can't imagine where the

3 million dollars embezzled from the company's accounts could be. Step 11: Reinvent yourself as a Mexican farm-worker named Javier. Step 12: Make a new life for yourself in

Guerrero peddling cactus leaves to tourists. Step 13: Bury the embezzled 3 million dollars on the cactus farm in industrial strength garbage bags. Step 14: Steal a donkey to

clop nonchalantly out of town as if nothing out of the ordinary just happened. And finally, Step 15: Return a decade later to retrieve the cash, move to Cayman, & laugh!