"I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT'S GOING ON". Tim shouted

"I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT'S GOING ON". Tim shouted into the cold midnight air. Tim was going through a midlife crisis, which involved streaking and keeping chickens in his study. Yes,

"Tim" is actually me...... Sad point in my life, I know, but I'm not ashamed! For I have discovered that true happiness can only be achieved by baring what your mama gave you to al

bert Finney. Nothing is more satisfying than being naked in front of a squat kinky haired Brittish actor, but when I tried to take off my pants, Albert Finney

said, "Do not untrouser - you'll catch a fatal chill!" "I appreciate your concern, Mr Finney," I said, "but I'm method acting, I'm in the groove and I can't stop now!" We tussled

for a while, just for fun. But I had to get back to my business at hand. Recalling that tragic time when my mother spanked me, I pulled down my pants & muttered, "I didn't do it."

Everyone stared at me in disbelief. "Um, what are u doing," I heard someone mumbled. My head spun in confusion as I regained my composure & realized that I was flashing back again.

mainly because it was slathered in grease. "Gee, just what I've always wanted -- a live DU anti-tank shell to remind me of my service. Great." My daughter beamed at me as my PTSD

afflicted canine pulled it from the grease with it's rotten old teeth, tossing it to my feet. "There, you happy? I'll never see you again." He stormed off as he spoke this truth.

Walking away he turned around, looked me in the eyes, mounted his turtle, put on his spaghetti wig and rode off towards the west, where the sunset would be, if it wasn't that late