Anna was usually a quiet girl. She was always

Anna was usually a quiet girl. She was always the one sitting in the back of the classroom taking notes or doodling in her notebook. Today was different. She

started streaming randomly at passers by. Anna screamed the most inappropriate things at people. To an elderly man clutching his over-inflated colostomy bag, she

swung the Lacrosse stick and scooped up the aged-man's colostomy bag, Anna whipped the stick in a wide arc, launching the bag like a steaming, rippling missile over the heads of th

e referees who were huddled in a corner of the field smoking reefer. Dean Majestik arrived at just the wrong time; the colostomy bag struck his face and exploded, splattering waste

into his eyes, nose and mouth, almost suffocating him as he fell backwards against the bleachers. Unconsciousness was suddenly the newest in thing for him....

blender. "What are you doing here?" he asked me from the next bed. "Tied up, same as you," I replied. Just then a short woman with a tall hairdo entered the room. "Cocktail?" she

offered. I declined. She bent down close to my face & whispered, "Hacksaw?" Minutes later we were both free, thanks to "Beehive Babe" (as we named her). Now we had to find our way

to the nearest library. As I looked behind, Beehive Bave waved goodbye. "Be Strong!" she shouted. "And remember, it's at the Humour section." I nodded and smile. The library was 5

kilometres wide, so it took me a good 2 hours to walk to the Humour section. I puffed to catch my breath and scanned the shelves. "A-ha," I said, seizing the volume. It was empty.