My lesbian mums...
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My lesbian mums...
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You don't want tacos in your sound hole.
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oh contraire my friend, I happen to love tacos. In fact back in 2002 I won a competition by eating more tacos then a polar bear in 15 minutes. Man vs Beast never aired it due to
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the exploitation of polar bears. I didn't see what the big deal, its not like they were making gap clothes in a sweat shop, they were just having a taco eating competition. I love
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making money from polar bear jerseys and not giving them a cut of the profits because they're "amateurs". It's tradition. Every Saturday, polar bears eat fish tacos and I get rich
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by looking rich. I borrowed about 100K from my uncle and cut a commercial with bikini'd chicks on my arms, a private jet in the back drop, big chunky gold chains, and a huge
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2 carat cubic zirconia imbedded on my front tooth, the one I had left. I looked rich, cheap & easy in that commercial...ended up selling 200 million pairs of fuzzy dice on QVC.
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But it wasn't enough -- why 200 million when another 3 billion were hankering? I called in our fixer, Frank Luntz, who had gained nearly three tons since I last spoke with him.
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"Jesus, Frank," I busted out laughing. What are you...like...six thousand pounds?" "Actually, I weigh six thousand and twelve pounds. But who's counting?" "Obviously you are
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never going to bring your family honor! How can a gargantuan knight like you even fight?!" "You'd be surprised..." The fat man came in like a wrecking ball and destroyed all foes.
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- Started
- 2013-06-03 04:37:06
- Finished
- 2015-07-18 21:38:21
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