I have an Anything card in my wallet. Just

I have an Anything card in my wallet. Just wave in front of a customer service representative and I get anything I want.

It seemed great in theory, but in practice, not so much. Things went downhill when I asked a cashier for their soul. When the Anything Police arrived, I knew I was in for trouble.

These were the worst police of all. They were completely free to crush anyone or anything that stood in their way. This was three years after this story was first folded.

After much reform, and certainly much collaboration between the people and the State, the police were no longer oppressors, but instead keepers of the peace, as it was meant to be.

All went smoothly until one night Big Brother could not perform for her partner with enough gusto and forgot the Safe Word. Vice Big Brother had to slide into the First Lady knowi

ng he could be next. Inside the First Wife, Vice Big Brother found out Big Brother was Big Business. Now, as Acting Big Brother he had to know what Big Brothering was about. If i

t worked out and Acting Big Brother, Vice Big Brother, became the New Big Brother, he wouldn't be bothered. But if not, Big Brothering was not something left in the wild if you

are around the sort of person who yells out "Oh brother!" every time you are exasperated, as was the New Big Brother. This sort of exclamation only confused him to the point that

he had to change his name to "Big Friendly Eyeball," so the new phrase was, "Big Friendly Eyeball is watching you." But everyone called him "Big Creepy Eyeball." Oh brother!