Kaelen was the most sensitive of us bros,

Kaelen was the most sensitive of us bros, so when he said it was go-time, we knew the coast was as clear as it ever would be. Our sister Terisha would roll her eyes at our caution,

but The Rift mustn't be seen by non-siblings. Kaelen tied a string around my waist and I dove in. I visited the past to prevent Terisha from becoming so snarky, a noble cause.

A roman nose. A disheveled guest. A flat iron steak. Terisha tried to figure out the pattern while I rooted around for some creamed corn.

I thumb-tacked a ziplok bag of creamed corn to the bulletin board. I had yarn strings attached to the Roman nose and flat iron steak. Terisha pointed the disheveled guest. "Here!"

We watched the creamed corn marionette in fascinated dismay. Trisha smothered a scream, but I just flat out laughed. I thought I might actually win "America's Got Talent" , but

Then I realized that I was just a lonely little meatball in the world with nothing to lose. So I jumped in the tub of spaghetti sauce and did what I do best... I BECAME A MEATBALL!

Life was tough as a meatball, but I lived for the thrill that at any moment I would be pronged by a fork, wizzed through the air, & thrust into someone's mouth.

my noodles got slippery and made a run for it. I'll never forget the look on the faces of my prey, when they stopped eating to watch, helplessly, as my noodles jump into a cab

and headed for Naples, but they got only as far as the Ragu spaghetti factory, where they were apprehended inside a large jar of four cheese sauce. I decided to not press charges.