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Lately, sleep has become a delicacy I can

  • Lately, sleep has become a delicacy I can only dream about. That is, daydream about. My mouth waters at the mere thought of it. I look out the window, counting stars all night.

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  • So far the number has been 12,061. When I was young, star counting was just a hobby of mine. Now, I am obsessed. I wish I could sleep but my eyes twitch heavenward. 12,062...

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  • 12,063...twitch...12,064...twitch, flutter...12,064...twitch, flutter, blink...I kept counting & when I got to 177,566,459, I saw star # 177,566,460 grow brighter, coming towards m

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  • e like it was shot out of a cannon, so I made a wish. "That star's not shooting, it's falling with style,"said Imaginary Friend 867.3. "Don't *twitch* *spaz* speak out of turn, or

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  • I'll hit you with this rocket launcher," said the alternate-universe version of Santa. Imaginary Friend 867.3 got so dismayed they rounded down to just 867. It made me sad to see.

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  • Bizarro Santa and Imaginary Friend locked horns with the Mars's Lucifer. Step-father time entered the battle with a time whip. Greek Orthodox Easter Bunny fired gamma rays at

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  • Buddhist leprechauns upsetting them so much that they refused to 'let go' of the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow causing the Karmic Wheel to grind to a halt in Ireland.

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  • And when the Karmic Wheel halts in Ireland, the Irish drink even more. So this was the situation: the angry Buddhist leprechauns held fast to the pot o' gold, the country ran out

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  • of clean glasses to serve the patrons of the many Irish pubs in Ireland. The Karmic Wheel turned on, & the Irish got drunker & drunker, slapping booties as a form of entertaining f

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  • emale transgender guests. Then they performed the traditional act of shoving handfuls of shamrocks into their eye cavities until they all collapsed dead on the floor.

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