"Happy New Year!" said the waif sloshing

"Happy New Year!" said the waif sloshing the champagne around and tipping his top hat. 2014 sat drunk in a corner leaning on his scythe "Just you wait..."

The confetti came swirling down and got into everyone's champagne. The waif giggled deliriously as his top hat was stolen by the match girl. 2014, blinkered, sharpened his scythe.

to push Philip J. Fry into a cryogenic containment freezer until the year 3014, when he would wake up to a great new bold future where he would live his life a cartoon character.

If nothing else, he could freeze it up in a timebubble. He was tempted to do it now but it would require much more time than he had to do it right. Avatar deserved it be done right

, something God realized too late when Noah rebutted, "You said bring me two of EVERY animal, not two of EACH animal." God decided to try making other planets. Monkeys sucked.

So God decided to create a monkey-free planet, inhabited only by goats. Everyone was spronking along merrily there for a few millennia, when suddenly monkeys appeared in spaceships

The goat planet was dominated by the technologically advanced Nan civilization who had been on the cusp of space travel when the monkeys in spaceships appeared in orbit above them.

How long had she been in stasis? Impossible to tell now that her pod was in power saving mode and comms were down. Her orbit was fast decaying. Groggy, disoriented, she glimpsed

out the porthole. The nose of the ship was entering the atmosphere. It began glowing. She would have to bring her down. She wasn't a pilot.