Zed would never be confused for a smart boy,
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Zed would never be confused for a smart boy, but he had all his faculties and was good with his hands. It just so happened that on this fateful day in August, Zed's concentration
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waned for a moment just long enough to eternally alter how many fingers he had on his right hand. Denial staked a claim on the bleeding gap between his index and ring fingers. Zed
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realized he'd no longer be able to give the pigs a two bird salute at the football match riots and was crestfallen. It was Zed's signature semaphore. He decided to seek a donor
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finger, something knuckly and thick like an oak branch. Zed had always wanted to have one gigantic prehistoric finger attached to his hand, but where could he
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find a surgeon who could accomplish such a feat? And of course, he'd have to somehow steal the dinosaur's claw from the Jeffersonian. He found this guy on Elmstreet who had just
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seen a youtube video of a similar procedure but on a quite different species of alien. It had not gone entirely straightforwardly and he was reluctant to risk another debacle.
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It was probably a bad idea for him to try and operate on an alien based on a YT vid without med knowhow nor xenobiology study. It wasn't any of the five kingdoms of animal, either.
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They say curiosity killed the cat and in this case it was driving him to operate on the alien. He discovered if he poked it with a piece of cheese, the alien would
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become really annoyed, sit up, and say, "Stop poking me with that cheese." Interesting. The alien on the operating table seemed innocuous enough, but when he poked it with some
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electrodes things really started to happen. Sparks arc to the walls and ceiling and then every thing was white. Slowly he awoke and opened his eyes and looked the alien gone.
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- Started
- 2011-07-26 18:46:22
- Finished
- 2012-11-30 03:38:19
3 Comments
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shlackpeny Nov 30 2012 @ 03:41
Poor zed didn't get his finger back :(
SlimWhitman Nov 30 2012 @ 05:02
We are them... If an alien species has nine fingers are they called nonits?
Zetawilk Nov 30 2012 @ 13:44
I dunno, but I can imagine Spock would sing about them. But as for the PR, it wasn't Lord Zed who was missing a finger, I thought. Perhaps some Disney-fueled "cut off your middle finger" fad along the same motivational lines as "promise bands"?