Hognar the hognork hognorse snake are a hog.

Hognar the hognork hognorse snake are a hog. Hognar travelled thirteen miles to get that hog, but now Hognar may claim victory as long as

he stays alert and watchful. "I think therefore I ham," breathes Hognar the hognose snake as he slithers through a rocky valley. A pig lying under a blanket squeals as Hognar bumps

his mutated protruding scale against its tail. Hognar turned his head in surprise that he hadn't noticed the pink tail so out of place among the grass. "Who in blazes are you?" He

challenged. "I, am Lucinda" she spoke seductively, swishing her pink tail. Hognar blushed a little, she was the stuff of his dreams.

Lucinda was effortlessly magical, the way that cotton candy so easily fizzes in club soda, and Hognar

was forced to stay in his room and pretend he didn't exist. Hognar hated that Lucinda was the favorite and magic-gifted child, but took solace in the fact that at least he could

maintain a social life. Secretly, Hognar enjoyed watching Lucinda's hayfever act up and then sneeze fairy dust on people. They'd run away screaming 'Witch! WITCH!' But he envied

her ability to sneeze fairy dust. The locals called up John Proctor and called her a witch. Only to find out he was in the crucible too.

Moral of the story: IMDB knows all.