My assistant was desperately trying to catergorize

My assistant was desperately trying to catergorize the fauna. Phosphorescent mushrooms led us deeper into the murky cave. The natural limestone gave way to basalt brickwork.

We found ourselves in some sort of assembly room. Spotted elves stood around tired black conveyor belts. The elves moved feverishly, constructing toilets. I turned to my assistant

"What an ingenious idea! They use under-paid elves to work at the assembly line! Imagine all the money they save. We shall do the same in our IPod factory." "Great idea, Steve

," he said, somewhat ironically. "We can use elves to make iPods. After all, they do so well with shoes and cookies, we can't really go wrong, right?"

And that's when Steve Jobs finally listened to his girlfriend Emily. The minute he saw he was on the gravy train, he needed a way to get rid of her so he could take all the

gravy for himself. Did I mention he loved apples too? Porkchops with apple and plenty of gravy, Steve's favorite meal, yes sir! So Steve pushed Emily off the train and listened

to her mellifluous scream as she bounced once on the train tracks with a wet thud. A sly grin spread across Steve's symmetrical face. "Oh Emily you rampant minx."

Steve had a symmetrical face because of plastic surgery;symmetrical & ugly,but his previous identity was protected. He pulled the trains emergency brake to make sure Emily was dead

Emily was his ex-wife, and he got angry when she cheated with his best friend. This caused her murder.

And THAT, mes amis, is the whole twisted tale. Truth is stranger than fiction they say. Questions?