"This is just awful!", said the mother as

"This is just awful!", said the mother as she fell asleep.

She'd been getting up every two hours and her breast milk wasn't enough for the sextuplets but they were allergic to formula. She needed a nurse maid if they even existed anymore.

She soon found an iron-nippled, 3/4 Swede, 1/4 cow named Helga, whose skill set (beyond breast feeding sextuplets) included dusting and bull riding. But Helga was a "mad cow," so

I took her "mad milk" and made it into "mad cheese". Then I slaughtered her into "mad beef" and cooked her into a "mad hamburger", which I ate and then I took a "mad shit". "Mad

Dog" but I wanted to show the "Mad Faces" in the trailer pork who was boss. But no one cared. They watched my trailer burn playing "Mad Libs."

The words scorched a hole in my soul. It was the pork rinds i was after. Had always been. You can take thengirl out of thentrailer park, but you can't take

the girl out of the trailer park. Wait, flip that, reverse it. Wait, what was I saying? Ohhhh yeah, the pork rinds. These weren't your store bought el cheapo funyons. These were

gin-u-wine, hair still on 'em' fried pig skins. Just like mom used to make. I just about hurled right there at the picnic. Jr. was munching and smiling. She saw the look on my

face. Why did she do it? I will never know.