Sand. Everywhere. Driven by the hot dry winds,

Sand. Everywhere. Driven by the hot dry winds, beating against the windows and doors, the desert sand was finding its way in. As the house groaned under the pressure of each gust,

they huddled together under the blanket. Sand was in their hair, between the folds of their skin, in their nostrils. The dusty granules caked their and formed

some of the most exquisite boogers ever known to human fingers. They were the kind with jagged edges and a gooey "tail" that felt like it lead all the way to the brain. The sandy

texture of the innermost boogers seemed to scratch at the inside of my nostrils. It felt good, even despite the pain and bleeding. I poked my nose further, and then

a universe, forged in blood, expanded from my nasal cavity -- filling the room with the innocent glee of a thousand newborn stars.

The pain in my nose expanded through my head like a supernova, my nervous system was overloaded

The doctor responded by prescribing a muscle relaxant. I proceeded to return home, take the the muscle relaxant, and thats when everything turned sour.

The relaxant combined with a freak undiscovered manufacturing fault within the mattress meant that when it folded in half, my limbs tangled. I resembled a pretzel. I could only

only lay and wait. Luckily the relaxant and the bed combined to lull me to sleep. I dreamt of salty snacks and children playing with massive fondant tubes. Willy Wonka again?