She dreaded going to the mailbox for fear

She dreaded going to the mailbox for fear that there would be more of the same...bills.

Taking a deep breath, she opened the box and pulled out a stack. Great. Another chain letter from her college roomate. When she opened the letter, it contained a lottery card

3 purple pencils and a quater of a pound of best grated parmesan. 'That's more like it', she thought as she

disgustedly binned the faux parmigiana "cheese" flakes she had been adorning her tagliatelle arrabbiata with for the last 16 years. Now, finally, she would be able to enjoy

her mac n' cheese in peace.

She loved Kraft Mac 'n' Cheese - not for the flavor, but for the unnatural orange color. She had a sexual fetish for orange hues. On her weak days, she head over to Home Depot to

push the orange cart up and down aisles, searching for home improvement supplies that complemented the orange color .

I was ready to take her home to Mom. But there was the problem of her gps Kartprotekt theft device. I decided to make a dash for it and pushed her across the parking lot. Suddenly,

my silent shopping car lover seized up. Was she having second thoughts? Did she still have feelings for Skippy the Bag Boy (not the peanut butter)? I would never know.