He'd always been confused: if you could give

He'd always been confused: if you could give a rat's ass did that mean you cared more, or less, than if you couldn't give a rat's ass. While seemingly inane, it was relevant to

him since he was a rat and a philosophical one at that. All the other rats in his pack eschewed his company because of the uncomfortable questions he asked like "Why where rats the

only furry critters not represented at FurryCon 2011?" The room was silent as no one had the answer. So he

pulled out his speech that he'd prepared through toast masters. It was about importance of vivisection. He rattled out the introduction at FurryCon 2011 and looked up

at the menagerie assembled before him. The crowd stared back at him through wide, expressive mascot eyes. The speaker, sweating in his sexy parrot costume,

began his historic oration upon the profound attainability of world peace. "I beg you," the sexy parrot costumed man said. "Class persecution is not just some Communist idea."

"Hey, I thought we were here to talk about unionizing mascots," said a man in an okra costume. There were murmurs of consent. The sexy parrot-costumed keynote speaker

wasn't biting. "Caucus, squawk-us. We Mascots are built for anarchy." The Stanford tree nodded in agreement, but the ASU Sun Devil stabbed the parrot with his trident. The Phanatic

furry, green creature crowed in pain as he rubbed his sore, feathered hiney with his wing. "I shall dominate as your dictator!" The ASU devil cackled evilly, his eyebrows wiggling

pathetically. But what the devil didn't know was that the green creature was actually his...father! And so indeed the father ruled the son and Arizonans everywhere cried.