when I was a little girl, my mother used

when I was a little girl, my mother used to love me so much. she used to kiss me and hug me all th time. However, when I became a young lady, she stayed away from me.

It couldnt have been that I stopped brushing my teeth at age 14, since watching that fluoride documentary, right? My teeth arent that bad, I mean, the mossy stuff feels kind of

wash as a gravy base. My body wash is made with essential oils. Thus, the blazing cherry gravy frosting was a total hit because

it was so versatile. It was gravy. It was frosting. It was body wash, and it was made of essential oils! It could exfoliate, and it was rather tasty. An all-in-one product

that sold like hotcakes on my internet site, especially during the holidays. I expanded my "Eat Me" line of beauty products to include bacon nail polish & pizza shampoo.

My best-sellers were: refried beans face masks, beef dripping face cream and cheese hair wax. Stunned, I received the ultimate beauty product award accolade. Yves St Laurent's very

witty and pointed response to my unexpected award was to release a new fragrance in my honor, "Crépuscule légumier", with a "basenote of watercress and a topnote of beansauce. I tr

Anslated it for those who don't know french. I designed a politically correct advert for it as well. The ad was accepted by WGN radio and Adbusters magazine, among others. Amazing!

Eventually the ad was discovered to be highly offensive to some countries on one of Neptune's moons, and was pulled. I lost my job and now have to live in the shoe of luxury.