It was like any other monotonous day he was

It was like any other monotonous day he was living, walking down the same old road he always had, when it happened. He looked up to the sky, saw a glimmer of light, then darkness.

This was no ordinary darkness, but something so claustrophobic that he cried in anguish. He was either blind or the sun had suddenly ceased to be. He flailed around frantically

knocking over a porcelain figurine of Jar Jar Binks, which fell to the floor and was smashed to bits. Shit, he thought,

I could've gotten a mint for that on eBay. Oh well, maybe I can just sell the head and some sucker would buy it. Kids these days, didn't know the true value of star wars merch.

It'd been an ongoing problem since the DVD re-releases. All anybody wanted these days with life size posters of hayden christensen. It wasn't like the Chewie debates of old, when

it would matter whether or not the fur had an authentic smell. In the universe of Star Wars, all these details had care and attention put into them, but now

true? I asked my contact at Hollywood to send me a real Wookie. A large box arrived at my door and I opened it as excited as a kid. I put my hand on his crotch and I was glad to

discover that the Wookie had been stuffed with cocaine. Once again, my career as a drug-dealing taxidermist was paying off. Doing a quick bump to steady my nervies, I immediately

jumped into my spacecraft to meet Darth Vador and propose him to be my associate in this very lucrative business.That's how i contributed to expand the dark side across the galaxy!