The most important lesson you ever learn

The most important lesson you ever learn in this village is never to leave it. But a single square mile is not enough for some. They abandon us for the forest, never to return.

The parents would tell ghost stories about the deserters. Then one day, a man returned from the forest to our square mile village. "It comes!"

Then comes snow white and cries and runs and dies.

Her seven manly man-friends placed her in a glass casket so the world could still see her whenever the mood struck. One late evening, a studly prince swaggered by on his trusty

steed. He swaggered too & fro and the steed felt his stirrups scrape below. The pompous Prince saw the crystal coffin with the sleeping beauty in repose, not a blemish head to toes

. He caught his breath. Ah, the Sleeping Beauty was stunning. "No doubt she'll be thrilled to receive my waking kiss!" the prince, so full of himself, thought. Gingerly, he lifted

She woke up and was thirsty. She drank the Kombucha too and loved the mango flavour. "Where did you buy this?", she asked. He took out the receipt and said it was Whole Foods. They

both gasped! "Did anybody recognize you," she asked as she flew off the bed to close the drapes more closely. She also peeked out the window at their overgrown backyard. "I don't

think so," he hissed. She was relieved, wanting no one to identify the lazy bum who so neglected the grass. To be safe, they slept beneath the bed, which proved quite the turn-on.