He took it personally. He felt personally

He took it personally. He felt personally touched by this coupon for 50% off the buffet at

Food Lion. The sneeze guard had long since surpassed its sneeze threshold, but he scooped some cukes with the rusty ladle, unfazed. "Ladle-to-the-Grave," quipped the coroner after

the last of the cucumbers had been removed from his torso. "You can't scoop long vegetables with a ladle and expect to survive." The coroner then pushed his corpse into

The blender and made a puree of the vegetables after they were washed and peeled and sliced. "Who wants to taste this?", the coroner asked everyone.

Noone volunteerd.I mean who wants to chug down a coroners veggie smoothie? Who knows how veggie it really is? The coroner frowned. His smoothies were all natural and

"Braaaiiins," the zombie droned. "How cliché," the coroner retorted. "You could have asked for anything, liver and onions, seared pancreas, or a nice simmered gall bladder but no a

pplesauce closer. You passed all of these to ask for brains. As a zombie you will have forever to eat brains but this is the only opportunity for you to have a Culinary Coroneer co

stume that fits your long arms. Take it and try it, but be careful with your makeup. Last time we had a zombie in the store, half of our outfits were stained with green lipstick.

I must admit, I felt a bit sullen as the zombie turned and sulked; it shuffled its mangled and disease-infested body toward the door. Its pus-filled eyelids will forever haunt me!