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Everyone said, "No!" but he marched into

  • Everyone said, "No!" but he marched into the recording studio. Production came to a halt. That bastard took off his headphones and said, "What's up?" Then Ted Nugent raised a bow

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  • and fired a Legolas-accurate arrow into the producer. "Nugent, you bastard!" bleated Rudy. He'd filed down his antlers - Hell Boy style - and was living his dream making Christmas

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  • jerky strips to hang from the tree. He was hoping to attract bears. Why else would he move to Folsom Street? Luckily the bear bait

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  • worked and he was soon indulging in his favorite pastimes: pelting big boned guys with cans of SlimFast and stealing their pic-a-nic baskets. But he had made a BooBoo, because the

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  • guys were not interested in the Slim Fast after all. It was the chicks that drank the Slim Fast that they wanted. More specifically, the chicks that drank Ultra Slim Fast.

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  • You see they were into obese women. Or at least they wanted to be. They were all convinced that home plate was a big fluffy pillow and their goal was to be on cloud nine.

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  • They wanted to spoon with their Obese Babes but thats hard to do when the handles are short and the spoons are heaped with Crisco. Yes Sir! Ye Sir! Two Bags Full

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  • Gimme mo money so I can pull a load of dodgy jammers. Obeses babes cannot spoon. Entire genocides have been known. Give a rest to the best. Extinquish all trainspotters. Give

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  • me yo' stones, glimmers and watches an' I'll let y'all live. Just don't ya call the cops on me, I no run fo' nottin! I ain't scaaaa'd of NO-one! 'xcept little tiny mousees, maybe..

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  • Just then, the SWAT team busted in with flash gernandes, tear gas and Mickey Mouse ears. They knew that the criminal element would always succumb to rodent fear.

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