Most men don't use condoms. We need to design

Most men don't use condoms. We need to design a better condom. Let's brainstorm. How about an origami condom with a nice mountain valley corrugation, or a Barney fingerpuppet?

What about like one of those Chinese finger trap toys, or maybe something approximating the texture of a cantaloupe with a hole cut in it? What if we had a condom that you wore all

the time? Long John spoke up from the corner. "Been wearing one for years," he said. "Got mine from Madame Wong down the street." I found Wong's Condom Emporium easily. A sale was

going on! I walked in to Wong's Condom Emporium finding myself overwhelmed with all the varieties, shapes, & sizes. Noticing my apparent confusion, Madam Wong approached me & asked

if I wanted a rare treasure. She handed me a small lead-lined box. Mme Wong told me the condom inside had been rescued from the ruins of Chernobyl reactor 4. It's radioactivity

almost blinded me. It comprised of a blurred combination of fluorescent blues and yellows. Sure enough, I looked at the packet to find these were glow-in-the-dark condoms.

Well that was a new twist. I decided just to have a go anyway. I neglected to notice that the glow in the dark condoms were highly toxic until after my partner had slowly began

to put the clown suit back on. See, my partner worked in the entertainment industry. I didn't realize anything was wrong until those big, floppy shoes started glowing.

One morning he didn't turn up for clown practice, but fortunately he lived radioactively every after. The end. Or is it? Muhahahaha. No it really is the end now. Omg out of charact