And so the Earthlings offered many fossil

  • And so the Earthlings offered many fossil fuels as burnt offerings, coal & oil, and their millions of sheep and cows offered methane, and it was not pleasing to the planetary diety

  • . In fact, Gaia was pissed. First, she withheld water from the Earthlings for many seasons. Then, she unleashed torrents of it all at once. The Earthlings bemoaned their poor luck

  • because most Earthlings had just washed their cars, watered their lawns or filled their swimming pools. Since water rates were always increasing the Earthlings protested to Gaia by

  • dumping ice water on their heads. Gaia hated herself for loving the Earthlings, but they were her children. She knew they needed tough love but she could never too hard on them.

  • Gaia softly nudged Colarado with a tornado, as if to tell them it was alright and she loved them. The Eartlhlings' ensuing screams were like their answer that they loved her too.

  • She giggled in delight, but regretted that a little, giggling often caused earthquakes and some of her little human friends got squashed by falling buildings. There was so many of

  • them. In weird way she kind of enjoyed seeing it all crumble. It reminded her of cookies. She reached into the cupboard and pulled out a package of double-stuffed Oreos. *Rumble*

  • Wait...the the large black walls trapping her were suddenly moving. She was somehow INSIDE the package of Oreos she was reaching into! Now the crumbling made sense...

  • and scents. She breathed in the chocolately cookie goodness & rubbed the Oreo icing all over her body. It was dark heaven. Nabisco must be God, she thought, dreamily.

  • An unforeseen effect: she got the power to see the future of cookies. This being so, she renamed herself The Oreocle and spent her days predicting the downfall of Thin Mints.



  1. SlimWhitman Aug 04 2015 @ 05:04

    Dieties of one world are often puny oreo loving mortals on the next level...

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