"BWWRRRRRRRRRRRFFFFFF!" Three and a half

"BWWRRRRRRRRRRRFFFFFF!" Three and a half hours of holiday cheer ended in 2 seconds and all over my mom's linoleum kitchen floor. It was pitch black and way past midnight.

The nog had been strong with this one, but was now a skating rink of sick on the slippery linoleum. Her father rushed in, buttoning his junk up from the first attempts at marital

LaCrosse. He opened up a tin of beef jerky, started chewing and realized it was dog jerky. Worse it was "Snausages." He chased it with Amstel Light, then his wife came in and

It was chill

The seafood platter had become one with the inspector. As the gentleman approached the buffet, there was a movement underneath the radish bowl. There was also a strange noise

spewing from both ends. He though he had a Tums Extra Strength in his carryall and began ransacking it desperately. Damn! He could never find anything in here! He burped and

shat at the same time. A strange sensation, but what followed made that seem quite minor. Here heard the guide knock at the outhouse door. Sirrr Siirr everything okay?

I tried to reply but the smell was gagging me, so the guide began to ask more urgently. Upon hearing my struggle for air, he forced the door open. There I was, with my pants around

my nose and my feet in my hat. I straightened my glasses, stood as straight as I could, and hopped away, leaving the guide behind.