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I'm performing at the Super Bowl half-time

  • I'm performing at the Super Bowl half-time show tomorrow. No, I'm not famous and nobody invited me, but mark my words, I'm performing. Just watch and see.

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  • My plan involves walking straight on with the other performers and pretending I am meant to be there. I have a fake security pass that looks pretty authentic and a rat costume for

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  • Chuck E. Cheeses, but that's for later. Right now I must infiltrate this high rise building. You see, my cousin is in the penthouse. He doesn't live there, but he is

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  • a fan of authentic New York style pizza, not to mention a special agent working undercover as a maintenance man. His real purpose for being in the penthouse is top secret.

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  • He so desired a slice of that pizza and as government operative, he was a man who got what he wanted. But, the maintenance just helping himself to a slice? Too suspicious. Instead,

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  • an 'accident' was 'arranged' wherein the red bell and hot chile peppers were substituted, resulting in 14 fiery pizzas delivered to 5 different locations. After the first phone ca

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  • ll I realised I wasn't getting my 14 pizzas. 6 of them had gone to Australia, and another 2 went to England. 3 were delivered to Germany, 1 to Hungary, and the last two ended up in

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  • The Outlands where mini heirloom tomatoes were less than 4 dollops a pound. Farmers Vulcan and Dexter had never had pizza before. They were surprised at the amount of tomatoes used

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  • to make the sauce. The recipe called for 421 tomatoes, which had to be crushed by the eye of an ice pirate. Luckily, I was able to find the mystical orb at Kitchen Bizarre, and

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  • that supplied me with the tomatoes and the ice pirate's eye. I thought I should shop and Kitchen Bizarre more often, especially since it was next to a Chick-Fil-A.

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