I'm performing at the Super Bowl half-time

I'm performing at the Super Bowl half-time show tomorrow. No, I'm not famous and nobody invited me, but mark my words, I'm performing. Just watch and see.

My plan involves walking straight on with the other performers and pretending I am meant to be there. I have a fake security pass that looks pretty authentic and a rat costume for

Chuck E. Cheeses, but that's for later. Right now I must infiltrate this high rise building. You see, my cousin is in the penthouse. He doesn't live there, but he is

a fan of authentic New York style pizza, not to mention a special agent working undercover as a maintenance man. His real purpose for being in the penthouse is top secret.

He so desired a slice of that pizza and as government operative, he was a man who got what he wanted. But, the maintenance just helping himself to a slice? Too suspicious. Instead,

an 'accident' was 'arranged' wherein the red bell and hot chile peppers were substituted, resulting in 14 fiery pizzas delivered to 5 different locations. After the first phone ca

ll I realised I wasn't getting my 14 pizzas. 6 of them had gone to Australia, and another 2 went to England. 3 were delivered to Germany, 1 to Hungary, and the last two ended up in

The Outlands where mini heirloom tomatoes were less than 4 dollops a pound. Farmers Vulcan and Dexter had never had pizza before. They were surprised at the amount of tomatoes used

to make the sauce. The recipe called for 421 tomatoes, which had to be crushed by the eye of an ice pirate. Luckily, I was able to find the mystical orb at Kitchen Bizarre, and