I'd invited the regulars, Bob who brews Nutbrowns,

I'd invited the regulars, Bob who brews Nutbrowns, Sam, the Pilsnerking, & Sally, the Amber-lady. The burgers were on the grill when I popped the unmarked bottle of Obama Honey Ale

and poured it all over my keyboard, thus making it difficult to twq678t286goulvgjhabla'gd;[aokjg;p9r2;,..z.hnoaagb0b2l,qqololololololololqqqqqqqqqqqblbz.,mgnoz-0=pmnnnnbbbbbbzzzzzz

." The Scripps spelling bee was even harder in person. "Country of origin?" "Typewritermonkeytopia." These clues were useless. I felt a dizzy spell coming on, so I leaned against a

rubbertree plant to catch my breath. Can you use it in a sentence? "She waffled her Lego's with the bowl of nuts and bolts, to the sounds of penguin laughter and decided to use her

pencil." WRONG! I pushed the button and he was sent straight to hell. "Who else wants to play?" I asked the audience, then read what was on my card. "Stewie Ott, come on down!"

Stewie came bouncing down but he had a crucifix with a silencer at the end. He aimed at me and fired off a rew rounds. I threw my flaming trident in a perfect arc and it caught

just the corner of his cape. That was all I needed to set Stewie ablaze with the fires of Justice. Unfortunately, I had not thought out just how long burning to death would take

and I had a plane to catch, so I dowsed the flames and tied Stewie, who was now unconscious, to the coffee table. If the meeting went well, the investors were sure to contribute

I decided to get some McDonald's and sleep on it. And of course it ended up going badly, so I did what I had to do. I enrolled him in piano lessons. God he hated that instrument.