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Cow 35 & 36 faced one another & scooped

  • Cow 35 & 36 faced one another & scooped dirt up on to their back with their hooves, snorted and banged their heads together locking horns. The crowd of farmers cheered

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  • . Bovine fights had become the latest underground sensation in the rural midwest. Late at night, in basements of grain elevators, bets were placed on "Mad Cow" and "Udder Doom."

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  • I wagered $25 on "Mad Cow" to take out "Udder Doom" in the 4th round as she reminded me of an uncle who had suffered from bovine spongiform encephalopathy. The two cows circled and

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  • milked the drama for all it was worth. The two cows didn't want to fight, they wanted to cud-dle. The crowd was cheesed because they didn't get to see the fight.

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  • So they uppercutted the cows to death. The sudden influx of beef

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  • would have been sought after, but unfortunately the cows were of a higher level than the band of newbie fighters. Their accuracy checks were so bad they couldn't even hit the broad

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  • standing in the street with her red hair piled so high it made a perfect target. So they settled instead for plinking at the empty milk bottles that littered the pasture. This made

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  • for good fun and it was better than being mistaken for the acquaintance of a red-headed street walker. Or worse, the attacker of one. One plink through her target like hair and we

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  • made it to Narnia, our escape. Aslan's hair could be used to transport ourselves anywhere back on Earth without a time shift, so he was payed grand amounts from the illegal money

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  • , which he then donated to charity. In two shakes of a lamb's tail, we were back where we started, as if nothing at all had happened. It DID happen, didn't it?

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