The gleaming yellow paint of the brand new

The gleaming yellow paint of the brand new Ferrari sparkled in late afternoon sunshine. It was so hard for Jake to wait for her; he just wanted to get out of there, to leave this

town and boring life to to become a drag queen, just like his father had so many years ago. His secret passion was obtaining bootleg copies of

Gary Neuman exercise tapes. They just don't make them like that anymore. While not a technical drag queen, he was queen enough for me.

But when Randy Newman was hired to do workouts with Gary Neuman the world of video had hit such a disgusting low that

it made ESPN 8 "The Ocho" look positively highbrow. Newman and Neuman was such a colossal failure, such a steaming pile of excrement, such a vapid... insipid... what was I saying?

Oh yes the tricycle. What was I going to do about the tricycle? It must be dealt with. I can't just leave it lying around for the neighbor's dog to keep peeing on like some

Tinguely sculpture in the park. I rigged a battery to a motion sensor to put some amps onto the frame the next time a canine decided to mark his territory and settled in to watch

but it wasn't a dog . The local Rent-a cop whipped it out and started to pee on the park Art when the amperage struck! He jumped, Screamed, and shot the sculpture. The newspaper

later reported that the cop had received his just desserts, and had in fact been "Tazed, Bro." Officer Dingle was forced to retire in shame, and additionally had to pay the court $

25 to have the burn marks cleaned from the floor. (Quite why Dingle had set fire to the courtroom was never explained, but then he was always doing things like that.)