The tree hummed and I listened to the soft

The tree hummed and I listened to the soft melodic notes falling from the brown crusted branches. Each leaf made a note as it hit the ground and I wanted to show everyone.

"Look! LOOK!" I cried to each person walking past. "A musical tree!" I pointed as the falling leaves began Beethoven's Fifth. People looked at me, the tree, and hurridly swept past

, as if...as if I was crazy. I wasn't crazy!...Was I? I leaned in closer to the tree, putting my ear to its trunk. YES! There WAS music ...and...and voices!! A party, perhaps?

I found a knothole and peeked through. Sure enough, the squirrels were whoopin' it up in there, getting drunk off maple syrup. There was even a tiny acorn-shaped pinata. How in the

Name of Allah did a whale penis and a rotten carcas of a giant mutated panda manage to be lodged into a squirrels nest. Only The Doctors tardis could achieve such a feat. Perhaps

such time-travelling feats were confined to the realms of science fiction and fantasy, but this eccentric old man, who had done such unspeakable things to a squirrel's nest,claimed

he was from the future, where squirrel's nests where a means a communion with the Nut Lords. 'Not that old chestnut', I thought, while nodding to humor the old fart.

Imagine my surprise when the nuns were removed their wimples and wear their hair in the form of squirrels' nests "to be closer to the Nut Lords". The old fart had been right!

exotic dance lessons, rising to the top of strip club stardom on the back of those nuns. I learned a lot of unique material from assisting with this book, making my fame secure.