The shot glass was overturned, but leaking

The shot glass was overturned, but leaking a brown liquid onto the table. "Alcohol abuse" thought Leo. He lifted the glass and tongued the remains, then slurped the rest off the

table. He wiped the corner of his mouth with his sleeve and noticed that he was missing one of his cuff links. "Shoot! Those were my gramps' links. My mom's gonna kill me when

He decided to hide the truth from her. He HAD swiped the cufflinks from gramps' corpse. He was not proud, but he was 'styling' with the "stars and bars" cufflinks. Buford would

steal the teeth off his dead grandma. He'd stolen the shoe laces at Uncle Rob's funeral. Kissed sister Betty's ear when she died and stole the diamond earrings with his tongue

He always knew that time spent practicing tying a cherry stem would not be wasted. Little did he know that it would bring him that kind of fortune. If only he could figure out

how to do it with his feet. He was amazed a how people

could use their forearms, ear lobes, and even

the backfat in his signature Canibale(tm) 100% natural human apple sausages. Ready to serve, just seat and eat.

...Harold finished reading the advertisement and shook his head. "I can only imagine what they'll do at the Super Bowl!" Harold laughed hysterically until he passed out.