"Come out with your hands raised!" WTF?!

"Come out with your hands raised!" WTF?! I exited the john stall, lifting my arms. "What have I done wrong, Officers?" They pointed at TP sheets I left on the floor: "What's that?"

"Ah its just a pile of toilet paper officer." Sgt Donnelly lifted one eyebrow as he glanced at me then back at the tp sheets. "Aha. So you won't mind if I check what's under them

will you?" I panicked and tried to throw myself over the toilet paper, but Sgt. Donnelly was too fast for me. He unraveled the roll and there she was--Marilyn Monroe, still alive.

"M-Marilyn?!" sputtered Sgt.Donnelly, "What are you doing?". Marilyn Monroe was eating a pile of chicken nuggets underneath a toilet roll. Using the distraction to my advantage, I

23 skidoo my ass out of there. Having just seen them make moonshine out of a roll of toilet paper I wasn't prepared for Marilyn Monroe eating nuggets underneath the toilet roll. Of

course, she ate them without dipping sauce, for fear of spilling Sweet 'n' Sour all over her iconic white dress. I helped her out from under the toilet roll. "Marilyn, it's a

miracle you're still alive." I sighed. "Without me around to save your butt every five minutes, you would either be dead or horribly disfigured." Marilyn stuck get tongue out at me

I mean it. Marilyn Monroe literally handed me her tongue out of her mouth. it was littered with nuggets. It was turning blue. Que Sera, que sera. The future isnt ours. Neither do w

eep what we sew. Or is it, reap what we sow? I was holding Marilyn Monroe's bright blue tongue. I wiped off all remnants of chicken nugget off it. I offered her my hand in return.

Thusly joined, we boarded the paddle boat, slammed home some Horse, and paddled off into the Atlantic sunset. Vaya con Dios!