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Now, this is a story all about how My life

  • Now, this is a story all about how My life got flipped-turned upside down And I'd like to take a minute Just sit right there I'll tell you how I became the prince of a town cal

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  • led Prince Town. Now the King's son, the previous prince, had just died by accidentally brutally stabbing himself whilst shaving. And so naturally the King looked to me to replace

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  • the razor blades. Bloody hell! I was all thumbs & kept dropping the razor blades all over the royal bathroom floor. The King was very particular about his shaving gear. The blades

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  • had to be, well, razor sharp. They gleamed with an otherworldly light and were so shiny the King could see his marvelous reflection in the beveled surfaces. His barber had

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  • not a whiff of suspicion about him, so the king blithely trusted him with the otherworldly sharp razors. It had been his younger brother who hired the barber. "May we begin, Sire?"

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  • "We permit it". "Permission to remove the Royal Heir is granted?" asked the Barber holding the glinting blade to the Prince's throat." "Are you deaf fool? I say off therewith!"

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  • With a deft swipe, the Barber removed all potential for a heir from the Prince and gave him a clean shave to boot. "Next!" the Barber cried, stropping his blade.

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  • The Prince fell to floor, grasping for his lost jewels. "I'll take those as payment," the Barber said, grinning. He picked the stones up off the floor and dropped them into his

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  • testicular flap that he had had surgically added during a vacation in Bratislava. Having now absorbed the power of the jewels into his testicular bloodstream, the Barber could now

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  • Carve, trim and shave just like his grand pappy had always wanted him to. Hello West Virginia. There's a new barber in town. Let's get ready to ombré.

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