Estaba en la playa, el mar tranquilo y azul,

Estaba en la playa, el mar tranquilo y azul, navegando un barco pequeñito a lo lejos

cuando recuerdo...Oh,sorry!Let me start over:I was at the beach,the quiet blue ocean,a little boat sailling away when I remember I left the stove on,so my paella and my apartment

suddenly ceased to exist as the timeline was hijacked for the second time in as many lines. Spiders suddenly crawled out of my pores and covered my body in sticky silk thread.

Soon I was cocooned. A stick was inserted into me from below and I was lifted thus skewered. "That's 50 cents, sweets". An enormous four-toothed mouth chomped just as time warped

his head 5000 years into the future, which was a lucky stroke because they had the technology then to attach it a headless body, so he survived the trip but

his head was attached to a womans body instead! He didn't mind this at all, he was actually happier this way for some reason. The journey was a success, he had made it to planet

there was crumpled napkin tucked under his burger basket. In disgust, he picked it up...and noticed a message scrawled upon it. He smoothed it out and this is what it said,

"This job sucks, here is my résumé." He unfolded the grease soaked napkin and fould a curriculum vitae scrawled in ketchup. "Hmm.." he wondered, "A PhD in Gastronomy?"

He ate the résumé and frowned. "Tastes like cardboard," he said. My heart sank. I didn't get the job. I left the office, only returning eight hours later to retrieve my résumé.