i got beat up and i cried so they peed on

i did what i do best and opened my mouth

to let the juice flow into it. i would like to share this glory with my partner that happend to be

busy in the toilet--sorry, loo--and thereby preoccupied. Every time without fail he uses the bathroom. And not just to wash his hands after eating, either. But I too felt the

wet spots on the toilet seat. Damn. I'd already sat. The floor reflected the ceiling lights. Wet. The toilet paper roll looked like a dog had chewed on it. I was trapped in the

unpopular place of just ignoring it, or moving. I chose the easy way out this time. Ignoring uncomfortable situations and acting like nothing happened was my forte. I refused to

acknowledge anything at all lest I should be forced into an uncomfortable situation. I became deeply entranced, even suppressing medulla functions. I would have died except for

hearing Bryan Adams' Everything I Do (I Do It For You) on the radio. The song was entrenched at the base of my cortex and partway into the chorus I came out of my trance and

chewed thoughtfully on my pickle, wondering what extremes I'd have to go to to rid myself of my earworms once and for all. All out of options, I simply started banging my head

to heavy metal music in order to shake the earworms out. The earworm community lodged a noise complaint. I was arrested by the earworm police and received 10 years hard labour.