It wasn't usual for Jacob to leave the house

It wasn't usual for Jacob to leave the house at two in the morning and stroll down the street and hop on a bus out of town, but that's exactly what he did.

Because Jacob was told to do this by God. Since 3 p.m. God had been talking to Jacob, on skype. God was a chatterbox. Everytime Jacob logged on there would be voice mail messages

men don't wear skirts. They just don't. He started to ponder the idea of switching genders; it wouldn't be too bad. Skirts are such beautiful things, would they not be worth it?

The rush of cool air between the legs. Skipping the gender change, he put on a wig, his sisters lipstick, & chiffon skirt, went to the Walmart entrance to try out a "Marilyn Monroe

photo shoot" on the store CCTV but was interrupted by another man dressed as Lana Turner. He got very upset about the lack of attention he was being given. The Wallmart employees

became increasingly persistent in selling the ring. "It's a once in a lifetime deal Sir" they would say. He looked around for the nearest exit. They had sealed all of the doors

turned down the lights and lit the cheese fondue. They made absurd claims, "the ring was a wedding gift from Atilla the Hun to Joan of Arc, Biblo Baggins took good care of it when

he was in Egypt visiting Cleopatra." The room was quiet, so quiet that everyone heard the hostess's stomach gurgle. Bullshitting did that to people. Tommy Brady did that to people.

Cleopatra stripped naked and revealed her aristocratic ass. Some leftover milk from her bath was dripping from the crack, oh so chocolatey. Arresting, yet so forgettable.