I woke up next to a cute blonde who was completely

I woke up next to a cute blonde who was completely unclothed, my clothes scattered all over the floor. I tried remembering what I did last night but all I could think of was

how wrinkled my clothes were getting. Cute blondes come and go, but a concert T-shirt is a versatile wardrobe staple effective year-round. While she slept, I plugged in the iron

maiden in. My little girl was so terrified of the dark so I'd made her a night light. I put holes into an iron maiden with a shotgun and put a light bulb inside it. I watched her

admire my creation; watched my girl as she opened the hinged iron door and observed the bloody corpses within; watched her smile over the bodies of the people she had cared for

; watched her pause above one in particular. She stood there for a moment. Then she sank all at once, as if her legs were sand. Her hair hid her face, but not her hoarse cry.

She was allergic! I fist grabbed her shirt to pull her from underneath. We had to find some way of getting home.

But there was no way home. I knew that even before she socked me in the jaw. No one trusted anyone, all spies and commerce, no safe place to lay one's head. Later she confided that

she might be able to trust me if I didn't complain so much about her breaking my jaw. I couldn't speak so I communicated with my expressive brown eyes how I felt. She told me she

so I tried acting nonchalant by whistling and spat a bevy of bloody teeth .She laughed at this. I grinmaced.Then she took pity lending me her dentures & finally I smiled.