I remember my dad had this 8-track. I tried

I remember my dad had this 8-track. I tried to find out so much about the town he was singing about in the song so I could go see the crazy police with samurai swords

but there really wasn't anything like that here. Then Jeffrey came up to me. "Hey, Corey, wanna go stomp around in the dumpsters at the abortion clinic downtown?" "Sure," I said.

I wanted to give my spiked cleats a test stomp before Weasel Stomping Day. "So this is the dumpster full of..." "Yup." I initiated attack formation Fetus Cleatus and made a mess of

some of the ugliest weasels. They deserved to be stomped to death because they were hideous. I was glad to have given my cleats a test stomp. I found I needed thicker socks for

the bigger, juicier weasels. I stomped on them on canvases, then scraped off the leftover fur-n-stuff and what was left was what I called "art." Weasel art. At my first exhibit,

PETA was protesting, but hey, this is ART. It took some convincing, but I sold every piece of Weasel Art, and I decided to be braver and be bolder with my next piece. I went to the

However the Concerned Citizens of Terre Haute had a problem with the nude Charlton Heston sculpture. Apparently I made his gun way too large and some found it intimidating. But I

knew that the gun was proportional to the rest of the statues in Bolemic square. Being an artist can be extremely hard sometimes. Sometimes I just wanna be an engineer.

I decided to do something more constructive with all the statues. I pulverized every single statue and used the marble, bronze and granite powder to build a concrete computer room.