One day was enough for the mission. But general

One day was enough for the mission. But general was much tensed, he ordered us to complete it within seven days. It was a hot topic among us, something was bothering our general.

Something large and shadowy. It weighed on the General's mind day and night. He stopped coming to the messhall for breakfast. His uniform hung like rags from his ailing body.

"Maybe the General's having another of his affairs," said Admiral Reisenschein. "FOREIGN affairs." We conspired to get him more sleep. The Covert Ops team unplugged his alarm clock

When the hamster woke at 5 am & began to scamper in his wheel, causing an LP to tenderly play "Tears of Heaven" Adm. Reisenschein dreamed he was rowing a boat gently down a

mountain. A tough slog, but the admiral's subconscious was determined, much more so than the morose man himself. When he awoke, he discovered himself in a tent on a ledge in a base

ment flat in the N9 postal district of North London. This made the morose man even more morose... super-morose in fact. He threw his tent and survival rations into a wheelie bin &

hitched a ride to the Westminster Bridge, where he was determined there & then to end it...end it all. As he stood there, looking down at the churning grey waters, he heard a famil

iar obnoxious musical jingle. He blinked. His ringtone? Knowing nothing could make the day any worse, he retrieved the phone from his pocket - the caller id hidden - and answered.

"Listen to me very carefully," said the caller, "We know about Somalia, we know about your indiscretions, and we are watching you as we speak. What you need to do now is