The Obsidian Plinth had found itself in the

The Obsidian Plinth had found itself in the "homes" of many "wealthy" "owners" and if it had any notion of ownership at all, it owned itself, but more likely it had other notions,

other mesmerizing hypnotic suggestions. Queen Victoria adjusted her sleeves and peered into the Obsidian Plinth. "What does it do?" she asked the gypsy, who nervously laughed.

The gypsy giggled because she'd just hit the end of her schpiel and couldn't think of anything else to say. Queen Victoria waited for an answer. She pursed her lips, "I asked you

a question," she said disapprovingly. The gypsy just looked at her stupidly. Finally, she sighed. "Your Highness, I cannot answer it because it would mean the death of

of you and all who live in the kingdom. I am bound by an ancient spell. If I reveal the secret that is not mine to share the consequences will be dire." "So?"

"Oh, alright then, the King's not got any togs on."

The ladies in waiting salivated at the sight of the togless King. Sooosexaaayyy... The King examined himself in the mirror. No one dared to speak...except one lowly page, who asked

: "Too testy, boy! Silence now, lest you found out ... later," replied the King. The page didn't like the King's cryptic response though & said, "Why wait? I'm ready to know now."

The king hesitated, then lowered his royal robe and pulled out his aged and drooping breasts. They had fed the page long ago, had saved his life. In a barn in California...