To-do list: 1.Start doing a list hoping it

To-do list: 1.Start doing a list hoping it will go somewhere nice and become something.

2. Turn your umbrellas widdershins. 3.Get the turtle neutered again. 4. Think puce when you should be thinking potato. 5. "Oh hi, Dwight" every time you see Jim. 6. another rectal

sphincter spasm (ugh!) 7. Twirl around like a delighted princess. 8. Conduct a symphony on a train. 9. Wander as you wonder. 10. Butter your butt & call yourself a biscuit. 10.

14. Ingest the sun via your left nostril. 15. Enter the Miss Universe competition and shoot a fireball at Donald Trump. 16. Become a necromancer and convince caviar to overthrow

all of the millionaires in the world 17. Eat some pudding because we all deserve a break. 18. Take a check-up to see if your left nostril is infected. 19. Try to infect Kim-Jong-Un

with said nostril infection. 20. Get thrown into a North Korean detainment facility. 21. Make friends with your cellmate, a former journalist named Ji-Hu. 22. Convince Ji-Hu to

marry you once this whole North Korean Detainment thing was behind you. 23. Be pardoned by the N.K. Government in order to wed Ji-Hu. 24. Have Ji-Hu write your bio as a screenplay.

25. Wear a strap-on your forehead and pretend you're a Korean unicorn. 26. Witness Ji-Hu commit Seppuku because of the dishonor the unicorn incident brought upon her. 27. Su

ck on the strap-on in the most salacious way possible. 28. Command Ji-Hu to clean up her bloody Seppuku mess. 29. Realize Ji-Hu is dead. 30. Clean up the Seppuku mess yourself.